Why Elmer Fudd is real.

I'm sure everyone knows Elmer J Fudd. Yesterday I learned Royal Flush is where all the local Elmer Fudds gather. Why? Because there's a pen containing a few hundred rooster pheasant waiting to be wrapped in butcher paper.

Instead of driving to Platteville we all worked locally to maximize our "hunting" and drinking time. I got there just after Brian, the journeyman electrician I work with, and Craig, the journeyman pipefitter. Then the owners Mike and Marquis pulled in, with Marquis' black lab River.

I'd borrowed a side by side 12 gauge from my uncle Don and was ready... after a PBR. Craig handed it to me so I drank it. "Barley flavored water" is what I called it later when the owner of the game farm told us we should have read the release before signing.

I got a few pheasants. I'll spare you the play by play but it wasn't hunting. It really was like watching Elmer walk through a field looking for something to blast.

The best example of Elmer at work came near the end. Marquis, Mike, Craig and I headed down a finger of field along the driveway to find any smarter pheasant. Brian was going to head back to the "clubhouse" with his single shot breach-loader and start drinking early when a pheasant started running at him. It was like watching South Park where Ned and uncle Jimbo hunt. The guys at the clubhouse were yelling "shoot him on the ground" as Brian waited to make his one shot count. The bird kept coming and Brian held his ground. The bird got within 20 feet, stopped, looked at Brian aiming at it, at then flew to the left. It should have been an easy shot, but Brian waited too long and missed. Hooray for the bird!


So we after hunting we drank cheap beer and ate crappy pizza and popcorn. I left at 5 to get Sephie and was given a plastic shopping bag with 4 wrapped pheasant breasts. They'd been cleaned and wrapped for me. It really was like shopping.

Don't get me wrong, I like to hunt. But what we did wasn't hunting from start to finish. I will respectfully eat the birds, but I'd take more pride in sharing if it had been a real hunt.