Get me the FEMA phone number please

I need to file for disaster relief. I got up to Rhinelander in a timely fashion and did a lap with a 34x18. Other than dealing with a pinch flat on the rear wheel it was a good lap. The usual conversations with the other singlespeeders convinced me I had the correct gearing for me. Saturday evening was spent eating plenty of pasta for $5 followed by some Capital Fest consumption around a bonfire with the Muddy Cup folks. As the camping area and most of the trails (if not all) were provided by the local Boy Scouts, their leader had a stick up his ass about alcohol consumption. There was one rider brave enough to bring his beer into the lodge, which I imagine he wanted to have with his dinner. Someone said to him he shouldn't have a beer in the scout area, hinting that impressionable scouts shouldn't see beer being consumed. The rider, noticing there was several smokers in that same doorway, said "I'll get rid of the beer when they get rid of all the cigarettes." With that he walked into the lodge and had dinner.

So the next morning I wake up, break camp and head over to the Muddy Cup trailer for the essential beverage. The usual crew was there doing the same thing, Rick, Liz, Mark (working), Trevor, Keith, Dan and Russell with a bottle of Coke. Russell said the night before they'd followed Marko around the "Quicky Mart" to see what he was up to. He bought Blue Gatorade and some cookies, which are obviously used as performance enhancers. It was then speculated Marko has a bin in the van where these were tossed along with other "performance enhancers" in an effort to keep everyone guessing.

Liz was volunteered to do hand-up duty again so I got her two bottles along with Russell's cooler with Jerry Daanen's bottles. The usual warm-up followed and everyone gridded after call-ups. I was positioned better than at Suamico in the 3rd row and when Don yelled "Gooooooooooooooooooooooo!" there was a lot of dust and we were off. I felt good until the steeper hills and I settled in comfortably. I caught Spencer after the bridges fixing a flat. I'd see him after the second lap sitting by his truck, done for the day. Shit happens, there were quite a few DNF's by the end of the day.

Time for a word about the course... Bumpy. I don't normally bitch about riding a full rigid bike because the Bontrager Race X Lite Carbon does a great job soaking up the bumps. Not this race. It needs to be roto-tilled and ridden by a thousand bikes. It sucked.

I felt comfortable and managed a 54:07 first lap. (162bpm avg) The second lap was equally smooth but I was beginning to feel some minor cramping in my hands. Must be the bumpy trail. I thought I was running in 4th but it turns out I was running in 7th. Still, my disposition was above average and I felt okay. The trio of Jesse, Matter and Marko freight-trained by me before the first hill and they were gone. Wow, that was fast. A few minutes later I started to hurt. Rick had said before the race that he intended to "mail it in" having won the first two marathon races. I said I'd phone it in, but I was having a problem getting a dial tone on the third lap. With half a lap to go I decided I'd ride easy unless someone on a single speed caught me, then I'd ride just hard enough to stay in front at the end. In theory it sounded good, but then my quads started to cramp. A short time later young Greg Parker caught me. Either he was having a great ride or I was fucked. Turns out it was both. I told him I thought he was 4th when he passed me and I tried to stay with him... and had absolutely nothing left. A minute later both quads protested and made me scream for a few minutes, but I wasn't going to get of the bike and walk so I rode through it and kept screaming. It The cramps went a way and I resumed a much slower speed. I could still walk the hills but any attempt at putting power to the pedals resulted in instant bilateral quad cramps. In the last mile or so I caught Keith, who had flatted and was just finishing. I didn't have the gas to pass him so I sat behind him and relaxed.

And then came the results...
Rick Walls..........2:28:07.3
James Sniadajewski....+0:23.7
Mitch Plout...........+5:22.9
Dan Schneider.........+7:12.4
Mike Worland..........+8:21.7
Stuart Shelton........+9:58.9
Greg Parker..........+27:11.8
Me...................+29:29.4
Jeffery Reiter.......+34:38.5
Jim Shong..........+1:03:12.7

I had what amounts to a performance from last year. I don't want to take anything away from the guys in front of me though, it was a really hard course and it had taken its toll on everyone. Marko's hands had been badly blistered in spite of his gloves. It had severely kicked my ass and I was lucky to have finished. If I had run a 20t it may have helped diminish the body problems, but I still wasn't up for the event.

first lap...54:07.9 162bpm avg
second lap..56:16.2 158bpm avg
third lap...67:10.8 150bpm avg .... somewhere I peaked at 172bpm

Later, Keith told me his wife got a couple pictures of me. One has me doing a Randy up a hill with an expression of suffering. Great, I'll get that right up as soon as he emails it to me.